21 DAYS OF ART

Wednesday June 10th
WEDNESDAY JUNE 10TH 2009
Not a notable day in any general sense to my knowledge but I just decided to make it a notable day in my life
I have spent a lot of time worrying about money and training.. trying to make money in order to train in order to become an artist and regretting that I didn't go to Art School, that I pushed my self too hard and broke down, that I take too long picking myself up, that I'm too open about my failings and feelings (so people are afraid and call me mad and back off), that I run from Love then beg for it which pushes it still further away, that my first Loves and Creative Career ended in breakdown and so I am afraid that this will happen again if I give myself again to Love and Art.
When all along.. even when in training I was in training as an artist, even when not being paid, or I was paying for training I was an Artist. I am an Artist and everything I do is Art and now I have this conviction I am much more likely to be paid (as who pays those who are unsure of who they are and what they are doing? Also I have made money from my work many times before- why not now?). And why not Love myself and Love Men as themselves and see what happens...
My focus now becomes my creative work which is inextricably linked with my well-being and development as a person and my relations with other people
Every day for the next 21 days every troubling or distracting thought and feeling will be transformed into idea, action and/or artpiece
Every day will begin with this in mind
Apparently it takes 21 days to turn an action into a habit. I will start today and thus by June 30th.. the last day of June, this will be my habit and I will be a fully fledged Artist...